that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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