the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
