I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
