You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
