remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
