took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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