I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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