He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
