i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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