Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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