Well douche your snatch and let's go!
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
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I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize