The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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