They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
My life is pants optional.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
