My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
