Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
