this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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