apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
