She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Randomize