at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
