you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
She bit a glass in half.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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