Fuck appropriateness.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
