I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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