didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
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