So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Bring me that man meat
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
