I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
