i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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