Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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