Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
