the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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