Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
