we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
