Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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