i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
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I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
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I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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