I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
