OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
