like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
