you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
did i walk over a car last night?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
