i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
She told me I should be a condom model.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
