just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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