you guys were way drunker than both of me
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
