my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
