just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
