you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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