I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
