it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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