that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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