ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
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