ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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