..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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