even my farts smell like vagina
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
