just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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