I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
