Yo dont text me then not text me
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
