Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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