Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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