Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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