to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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