the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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