I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
