She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize